It seems like men are not as familiar with the female orgasm as I believed. I did have a friend tell me that all women do not orgasm the same, which is a no brainer. However his special take on it was not all yoni’s had contractions, which they do. He believed that some yoni’s ballooned out during an orgasm. And yes that does happen right before a woman has an orgasm. So he had never experienced a woman having an orgasm and he was 64. Later when I talked with his gf she admitted to never having had an orgasm, never, and he didn’t even know. There are 2 lessons to be learned here. 1-Women do not lie about having orgasms. 2-Men know enough about women’s bodies that you know if she is having an orgasm.
Above is a pretty clear picture of a woman’s genitals. The clitoris has approximately 8,000 nerving endings, which is more than anywhere else in the female body. The penis only has 4,000. The clitoris has only one purpose and that is pleasure. The nerve endings extend throughout the pelvic cavity. To ignore it during sex seems a little bit self defeating. Yet, I have had men brush my hand away and I have read this is not an uncommon occurrence.
For a woman to have an orgasm she needs stimulation. She needs foreplay and to trust her partner. Foreplay is very underrated. Foreplay should bring as much pleasure as sex. Being touched, held, bit, slapped, kissed, licked, massaged whatever brings the body pleasure should be explored. To get a woman ready for orgasm the entire female body needs to be stimulated and her senses. That is why suitors traditionally offered flowers and candy and wine. Women liked to be kissed on all parts of their body. Sex isn’t like making coffee some chore with a pleasurable payoff. I actually know people that seem to like coffee better than sex and that is just sad.
First Thing: Use foreplay in anyway that feels good and spend 30 to 40 minutes on it. Maybe not every time, but at least once a week.
Second Thing: Play with a woman’s clitoris in a way that is pleasant and sexual for her. This includes sucking lightly on it, flicking it, rubbing it back and forth. Generally the very tip of it is super sensitive so it is better to rub above it. When she begins to lubricate continue rubbing it gently at first and then with a confident sure touch in a firm circular motion. Many women like pressure from the entire hand right above the pubic bone as you rub the clitoris.
Do not Forget: Men you are part of this too. Let your partner touch and do thing that you like and explore your body.
Almost Last Thing: when you are both aroused or just after the woman has orgasmed begin sex. Usually the woman will be having after shocks of her orgasm and continue to have contractions and perhaps orgasm again. Make sure you are both taking deep breaths and maintain eye contact or check in with eye contact and remember that an orgasm is the outcome of pleasure. Give each other enough pleasure and you will have an orgasm.
Last Thing: Tell your partner what you most enjoyed about being with them. Express your appreciation in words.
In our society for whatever reason there is a focus on the lingam as the only path for both the male and female to achieve orgasm. This is not true. Freud considered the clitoral orgasm in women as infantile and believed that a mature and healthy woman was satisfied by penetration alone. It is just not true and males can have orgasms outside of strictly lingam stimulation by stimulating the prostrate. The lingam is good and the word translates into Shaft of Light. And it should be a healing for the male and the female.
However, never forget that as wonderful as the lingam is there is more to pleasure than just the lingam. Our entire body is built to experience pleasure in particularly sexual pleasure. Last thought. Sex is not a chore.