I ask a lot of questions in a session, but I also listen.  One thing I inquire about is if the person has experienced the rise of kundalini energy or of their sexual energy or fire energy, or if their orgasms are only felt in the fire chakra or sex region.  Most people state that they experience an orgasm only in their sex region.  

 If an orgasm is only felt in the pelvis the biology behind that is the rest of the body isn’t engaged or stimulated.  There is a lack of response in the rest of the body as it hasn’t been touched and the overall energy level in the body is low.  Yes, stimulating the sex organs alone will produce an orgasm, but it will remain in the sex organs and not be a full body orgasm.  

The Tantra explaination is that the kundalini energy hasn’t been awakened and can’t rise through your body and expand as there are blocks in the central channel, the chakras are misaligned so the sexual energy is trapped in the sex chakra.  You don’t trust yourself not to be burned by your own pleasure and desire.   In Tibetan Tantra that chakra is referred to as the fire chakra and when properly energized burns through the blocks in the other chakras so it can travel up the central channel to bring a glimpse of enlightenment through a full body orgasm.  The body is free to feel the full expression of desire, of pleasure, of bliss.  

I have a friend who acts as my confidante, sexual counselor and explainer of all things male and incomprehension-able to me.  He claims that to experience a full body orgasm the stars must be right, the partner must be right, all things must combine perfectly to produce this full body orgasm.  

On this our opinions diverge. And I have too much respect for him to disagree with him.  I only experience full body orgasms and have for years.  In many ways it has been extradionarily healing.  Since I am satisfied at deep soul level I don’t feel the need to engage in ego based sex where I am trying to prove something, or to seek out partners for the sole purpose of having sex.  When I was young and after my divorce I had periods of promiscuity.  I engaged in a lot of random unfulfilling sex.   I had orgasms.  Anyone can have an orgasm.  It is the natural function of your body.   And while I had orgasms with my ex husband they became increasingly unstastisfying and only reinforced that I was missing something wonderful. Here I digress.  I have met many unhappy married men who stay married because they profess they love their wives but in reality don’t want to split up their assets and feel loyalty to the marriage. Let me give you a reality check. If you are living in a community property state your assets are fully split up anyway.  Secondly, platonic love is reserved for sisters, mothers, daughters, not your wife. And speaking strictly as a woman I don’t want any man to stay with me out of a misguided sense of duty.  Also there is the lonileness factor and the unwillingness to take responsibility for your own life.  My ex moved out of our house and in with his mother and then lived for short periods of time with girlfriends until he found a new wife.   He is 61 years old and has never taken care of himself or lived alone.  He remains a child in everything but form.  Alone time even if it is brief is imperative to growth.  No one is served remaining in a loveless marriage neither the partners nor any childern.  When I say loveless I mean romantic love and desire. 

What the hell does that have to do with full body orgasms? Well a good deal. Full body orgasms are a technique.  Through Tantra breath work, body work and a amazingly powerful fire meditation full body orgasms are possible for 99% of men and women.

The other key is total acceptance of your body and the body of your beloved. Acceptance comes through touch, and taste and smell using all of our own senses in sex. 

And this is not bragging but an illustrative story.  I spent an hour touching my partner, with my mouth,my face, my body and then pleasure him. Afterwards he laid there with his hand on his head I guess so as to not let the energy escape and he said, my head tingles. That is the fire rising through the body burning away blocks to pleasure.  

Don’t settle for a smoking ember when you can have a roaring fire that lights up your entire body and mind. 

Tantra & Sexual Healing of the Yoni

Men are in a unquie position to help a woman heal from traumatic experiences either sexual or otherwise.  In Tantra the penis is referred to as the lingam or jade shaft or wand of light.  The lingam is seem as a not a weapon but as a organ of healing.  It can massage places in the yoni or vagina to bring health and well being.  Yet many men have a conflicted relationship to their lingam.  They have been told not to touch it or women have said it hurts them and so it seems like it is a negative force rather than the healing wand of light it is meant to be.  

I recently attended a yoni healing workshop.  Where women discussed their relationship to their yoni.  Many expressed that they didn’t lubricate or that sex was painful and these were young women.  I am always the oldest, but I am not experiencing those problems either. What came out in this workshop that is important for men to know is that when you force the lingam into the yoni or talk the woman into having sex she doesn’t want, the yoni shuts down.  It becomes less sensitive. Doctors will often tell women that the vagina doesn’t have nerve endings and sensations that all the pleasure centers are in the clitoris or bliss pearl.  That is just not true.  The yoni is very sensitive and has the g-spot and a-spot and cervix all which can produce orgasms.  However, because of rough or insensitive treatment these spots may have shut down.

And how does this relate to the lingam?  When a man shows love for the yoni with his lingam the yoni responds with pleasure and regains its ability to feel pleasure.  How does a man do that? He makes sure the yoni is ready for his lingam.  He kisses it,  he rubs and massages the yoni,  he touches the entire body of his lover, and he waits until the yoni wants him.  He might do this by taking the lingam and rubbing the head up and down the opening of the yoni.  Asking his lover if she wants his lingam.  And when she says yes, he gently moves the lingam inside the yoni that greets him with a warm wet pulling sensation.  

If the lingam feel any resistance he moves out and waits until the yoni is completely receptive.  Just by waiting until the yoni is receptive and is completely ready to be penetrated the lingam will heal past traumas 

Tantra: it works 

Tantra isn’t magic, it isn’t one thing or another.  It is a total shift in how you view your body, how you view your place in the world and what draws most people to Tantra how you experience pleasure.  So many people stay in their head during sex, letting thoughts pop up, engaging in some fantasy or projecting their fantasy onto someone else.  

I notice a influx of Tantra information that has been simplified to be almost meaningless and other Tantra techniques that have undergone pornification.  Edging is one.  In Tantra it is called walking the razor’s edge or riding the tiger and it sustains sexual energy isn’t frustrating but intensily pleasurable.  Recently I was contacted by a person that had found a type of tantric breath work and was bragging about his new ability to get firmer erections and intensify his orgasms.  And learning such a technique will work.  That is the magic of Tantra it works.  If you do the techniques it works. You don’t have to believe, you don’t have to know the principles, just do the techniques.  

However, knowing the correct techniques,how to do them, and the philopshy behind them will enhance the benefits by about 90%.  Going back to the breath guy.  Yes, he learned a breath and breathing differently will nourish your entire body, touch the Kundalini energy and help get stronger erections.  However, his experience was still all up in his head.  Tantra wants your body to experience sex and to be totally involved in the pleasure without the mind breaking through to comment.  Tantra offered him some minuscule  benefits, but to really experience Tantra you want to be totally relaxed and focused on one thing your pleasure.  The higher your pleasure the more your partner feels it and is also included in your pleasure.  

I had sex with the same man for 25 years.  I had orgasms. I had great orgasms.  I never experienced it as pleasure.  It was sexual.  That is different. Osho says sexual is when we pervert the natural normal pleasure of sex into something meant to arouse us without the pleasure of our senses.  Now since practicing Tantra I seldom fall into fantasy, I am present and fully alive during sex.  Nothing is going through my mind .  My senses are fully engaged in the experience of pleasure from how my lover feels to his taste to his smell to the sounds of his breath.  There is no room for thinking my entire body is consumed with the fire of my pleasure as it ignites the fire chakra and burns through my body .  
That is Tantra and it works

Tantra is on Fire

The fire chakra is where most of the work of Tantra takes place.  That is the sex area, symbolized by a red three dimensional triangle.  The simple technique is that the fire of desire and pleasure when channeled correctly burns up through the central channel clearing any other blocks in the body.  Clearing out past traumas both sexual and non sexual.  

The fire meditation for self pleasuring and partner sex is designed to heal and enhance the creativity of the entire body.  To make the body more capable of bliss, joy, happiness.

Tantra-moving from friction sex to Tantra 

I am always surprised and then a bit shocked when someone tells me they don’t care about sex.  For me it is like saying I don’t care about breathing or eating.  And I believe it is from people who have only experienced friction sex, the rubbing of sex organs to produce a spark of what Tantra sex provides. Tantra provides unity, reveals the your connection to your lover and the universe.  Sex is at the center of our bliss our joy without it depression or vague unhappiness sets in.  I just don’t think it is possible to live creativity without a full connection to the fire chakra.