Many people feel deep shame about sex, their needs, their body.  And sex sort of takes place in a vacuum.  The man or woman or the couple wait until need is the over riding emotion and sex is reduced to a bodily function.  It is then just a mechanical.  And often people think lets just get it done and orgasms becomes a goal not a result of pleasure. I spend quite a bit of time in yoni training (masterbation).  There are times when I just think I am going to just go for it.  I don’t need to go full Tantra.  However, like last night I begin and because it is habit I go full Tantra. The theory is that each orgasm and by orgasms I mean one that every cell in your body feels alive.  So I am laying there with my body feeling like it is dissolving into the infinite void. And I have to think what could feel better, nothing.  And each orgasm clears the central channel so the flow of energy is unimpeded in the body. Sex and shame have no connection.  Sex is a scared function of the body that opens it up for enlightenment . 

TANTRA and the shift in Consciousness 

I am contacted for help about sex.  Several of the issues are lack of intensity, taking longer to get aroused and difficulty sustaining arousal.  Those things happen when your mind is still working on a young persons mindset.  For men it is wanting an instant erection and a overpowering urge for release. For woman, it is viewing sex as something I give men and they are there to satisfy me so the atttention is on me.  Also I had a friend say I wish men could still just look at me and get erect.  Men can’t count on that and neither can women. 

An example of this is the man who isn’t fit, but puts pressure on his wife to stay fit so she continues to arrouse him by his teenage boy standards.  It is the reason many men are sexually drawn to small women with teen bodies.  I am not making a judgement.  As it is pretty common knowledge I like young men.  A lot.  That is my struggle and I can understand the issues trying to move to a more mature perspective. 

To have great sex and experience orgasms that move beyond the pelvic region there has to be a shift in conciouness.  Sex can’t be fixed on the goal of finishing or on getting the woman off.  It can’t be focused on looks alone.  It can’t be done like you are 16.  

Does this mean sex isn’t good as we age.  Hell no, orgasms can be more intense, pleasure more fulfilling, intimacy greater.  Everything can get better.

To accomplish this there has to be a shift in consciousness from friction sex to tantric sex. Tantric sex isn’t goal oriented.  Tantric sex strives for pleasure, presence and intimacy.  In a session before I touch anyone I am committed to showing compassion and acceptance as part of my tantric practice.  At the very least, that should be what you offer your partner who you love or have affection for. Does that mean you don’t get nasty.  Hell no, get nasty, slap that ass.  But stay in your body not in your mind.  Your body is made to feel and your mind is always trying to shut that down.  Stay with the breath and sink deep into the pleasure of your body. 

And remember sex is not a color by numbers experience. Color outside the lines, push boundaries.  

Tantric Transformation

I have committed myself to practicing all tantric principals.  However, I know that to be successful I need to prepare to change. You don’t get up one day and say I am now going to do all these things.  That isn’t preparing or committing to being successful.  I am 60 I could just cruise.  That would be okay.  A lot of people do that.  I don’t want to put myself in nuteral, because at some point you slip backwards. 

And as a person I have always been committed to being open minded, curious and concious about my health. And I have goals I want to obtain.  For me I think using Tantra is the fastest way to improve my health, gain joy and creativity and build meaningful relationships.  Of course the full body orgasms are cool.

I guess in someway, but not a weird competive way, I want to achieve enlightenment before I leave this plane of extistance.  

TANTRA: the YONI and what men don’t know

One thing I encounter is a true lack of understanding as to how the yoni works.  I often ask clients if their partner is having orgasms.  I usually get yes  and I ask how do you know? Do you ask ? That is the simplest way.  No, they moan.  That is not a very good indication.   Do they have strong vaginal contractions?  A good female orgasm will make the womb contract it is like the universe is moving through your body and you are being transported to a different realm.  And you squirt and your are flooded with warmth and no it isn’t pee.  I have tasted it. Plus I have a video that shows the fluid coming out of the vaginia and the vaginia contracting while pushing out the fluid.  If you have seem porn where there is a big arc of fluid that is pee, sorry that isn’t how female ejactulate works.  Yes many women can squirt if given proper stimulation and for a woman it is the best sort of orgasm.  The best. However women have a variety of sexual response and clitoral orgasms are not imamature or second rate.  They still are awesome.

One issue I get pretty consistently is  ” my gf, wife has had children  and her pussy  is too big  to satisfy me.”  Well first it takes 1 year for the body to return to normal.  However the yoni works much the same way as the lingam.  When the yoni is stimulated and the body is stimulated it swells with blood and becomes tighter and juicer.  Just the same way the lingam swells with blood and grows longer and thicker so does the yoni it grows tight elongates and throbs.  If you aren’t getting these responses then the woman isn’t ready for penetration.  Focus on foreplay, focus on pleasure of the entire body, breathe in enegy,  be aware of the body and the pleasure it feels.  Don’t focus on friction sex or strictly penetration.  That is for teenagers.  Focus on lifting your consciousness to a higher more energetic plane where your entire body is orgasmic.  One more thing.  Men will complain about what they precieve as big pussies, but never consider they have a small dick.  My ex always complained I had a big pussy.  But the truth was he had a small dick with soft erections from drinking a bottle of Jim Beam every night.  Since leaving him I have never heard that complaint since.  Know the yoni, love the yoni, stimulate the  yoni until it clamps down on your penis no matter its size.  That is how it is made. 

What is Tantra? 

As I spend more time with Tantra and teach others I have developed a deeper understanding of what Tantra is and is not.

Tantra is the growth and movement of sexual energy in the body.  It is allowing the fire of desire to burn as bright as possible clearing emotional blocks of shame, fear, numbness, guilt.  It is not relaying on images, fantasies, or anything the mind concocts.  It is falling deep into the body and experiencing the pleasure of touch, of air on your skin, your lovers breath on your neck the taste and small of your  lovers body. TANTRA is the pleasure of the body without the minds interference.  Tantra is the free flow of sexual energy that brings joy, creativity and happiness to the mind and body.  TANTRA is pure innocent pleasure free of guilt, thoughts, shame, or the desire to hold back anything.  TANTRA is pleasure. 

Special Tibetan Healing Meditation Post for a Friend.

The Spirit or Space Tibetan Healing Meditation

Today is a day devoted to the Spirit or Space Chakra.  I prefer think of it is terms of spirit as it is more aligned with my spiritual beliefs, but it is also can be referred to as the space chakra or the ether chakra. Either way it performs the same function.  While the other elements are for healing and bringing balance to the body, this meditation is for protection of your space or spirit.

   White/Spirit Chakrawhite-light-mandala

The color is white

The shape is a round three-dimensional sphere so you can imagine yourself inside of the sphere

The sound is VAMvam

The body part is the Heart.

It is an antidote to ignorance and separation from the spiritual

The activity it promotes is peace

It brings protection to all the orifices, sinuses, heart system, emotional body, and all the vajra body . NOTE: The vajra-body (rdo-rje lus) corresponds to your subtle physical body when used for tantric practice

The wisdom it gives is universal wisdom

The quality it gives us is openness


The White Chakra Mediation.radient 

Begin with a soft gaze.  Take 21 to 3 breaths depending on what feels right to you at the time.  The Sutra is for reference and is not a mantra.  The meditation is visual and breath work.

Sutra for this Meditation: Whenever in-breath and out-breath fuse, at this instant touch the energy-less, energy-filled center. sutra

Visualize a white brilliant point of light in your heart.  With each breath let it grow until it is the size of a white shinning grape of pure white light.  Place the seed syllable VAM inside the sphere of white light.  Visualize it written in pure silver. Chant the sound Vam one to three times. Then let the letter VAM melt back into your heart. Pause and lock the seed sound into your heart.

With each breath move the white sphere to the central channel just parallel to your heart.  Expand the white sphere until you are standing or sitting inside of it.

Take several deep breaths and then let the sphere of white light radiate outwards in a vivid burst of energy as far as you can imagine. In this burst of energy all negative matter, thoughts, are blown away from you and you are left in protected state where the subtle body can be felt but protected as is the emotional body.

End the meditation by visualizing you being surrounded by nothing but white clear light and lock that in place by taking a few deep yoni or lingam breaths.(Which is breathing in hold and tighten the yoni or PC muscle,, breath out and tighten again.)

Let your body absorb the energy and protection this meditation provides.  Let your body soak in the universal energy it captured when your sphere expanded.  white-rose

This mediation is to be used when you feel the need to protect your emotional self and the subtle body or spirit.   Also be aware that the pictures serve a purpose.  The Sanskrit symbols correspond to the seed syllable VAM.