I have been thinking about this topic a lot. I had a client begin talking about his fantasy. He told me it was a way that he accessed his sexuality. I explained another way that I have come to believe in which was to focus on the sensations of the body, and the breath and to remain present and attentive to the touch. I think he was a bit offended. Fantasy, is all in the head and sex is in the body. Be present and attentive to what you are doing in any activity, but especially sex. And while researching this idea I came across the teaching by Osho and what follows is his explanation of sex and sexuality.
Sex is beautiful, sexuality is ugly, and the difference has to be understood. Sex is a natural phenomenon. Sexuality is unnatural, abnormal and pathological. When sex becomes cerebral, when sex enters in your head, it becomes sexuality.
Now, the head is not the center for sex. It is getting into confusion, it is getting upside down, it is getting deranged. Sex is not the function of the head, but when sex enters in through the head it becomes sexuality. Then you think about sex, then you fantasize about sex. And the more you think, the more you fantasize about it, the more you will get into trouble because then nothing real will ever satisfy you because there is no limitation on fantasy, and reality is limited.
For example, if you start thinking too much about sex you can create beautiful women – women which are only your fantasy; you will never find them anywhere in the world. Or men.you will never come across them. No real woman or man will ever satisfy you because of the fantasy. No real man or woman can fulfill your expectations of fantasy. Fantasy is fantasy; it is a dream.