So the other day I got older. Even older than I am. It was my birthday. I went to see Magic Mike XXL and earlier Zak Brown Band. I danced like a dervish at the concert. I have continued to celebrate my birthday with presents and tonight a birthday dinner and espresso chocolate cake.
A confusing thing about me is that my inner life and my Tantra and yoga practices are so at odds with my persona. I was not naturally blessed with a pleasant personality and my upbringing made me a little rough on the outside. I literally did grow up in a barn. I spent most of my formative years on the farm doing farm work with my father. I am constantly saying dirty things and making people feel uncomfortable.
Once that first bit of weirdness is conquered I am as down to earth and compassionate as they come. And it would be nice if that shined through more. On the other hand, it is good to be who you are and not feel apologetic about it. I was encouraged today reading Osho as he makes it known that we are enough as we are and speaking and putting on a polite veneer is not the same as truly being a loving person.