Get what you want in bed?

tantraWhen people learn that do Tantra I am often asked about sex. I wonder why? A lot of times men want to know how to get more of what they need in bed.  Maybe more oral, more stimulation, even more kissing, anal, bondage.

I have the answer.  It is really quite simple.   You ask.  You don’t demand, you don’t manipulate, you don’t bargain.  You ask honestly and politely. For example, “I noticed that you like it when I give you oral sex.  I really love you and want us to be intimately connected and honestly I would like oral sex.  What can I do to make it pleasurable for you?   Can I be cleaner?  Can I lay still and just let you pleasure me?

Most women have issue with oral sex for 3 reasons:  1-Manly smell 2-thrusting into the mouth and gagging. 3- fear of ejaculation in the mouth.

These are things women don’t like and will cause them not to want to perform oral sex.  Of course there are women that like both 2 & 3.  However, I know of no one that likes strong smell coming from the undercarriage.  Okay, I do know of a few fetishes, but I am not speaking about those

Oral sex is just an example, it could be anything, toe sucking, foot massage, spanking, anal, being tied up– whatever it is.  The first step to getting what you want or need is to ask.  I can hear a few men, saying I do ask and she says no.  Then how are you asking?  Are you demanding it?  Do you try to get her real excited and then bring it up, because that just generally ruins the mood.  Do you make passive aggressive hints about it? None of those things I mentioned are asking.  Ask with compassion, honesty, and be polite.  You will be surprised at the outcomes.  Tomorrow more helpful hints on getting what you need. I am pretty sure if an old broad like me can get what she wants, you can too.

 

couples

 

About jill_111@msn.com

writer, yoga, cowboy boots, Vikings, sex, Tantra, enlightenment, dogs, hounds, grand bleu
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