Pleasure seems like it is dirty word for many people. It is like saying cock in public or pussy. It gets a very strange reaction from people. Recently I realized for men pleasure means sex and in particular an orgasm.
However, pleasure is also the feeling of happy satisfaction and enjoyment. There are many things that we find pleasing other than sex. When I walk my two young dogs the act of watching them run and play in the foothills fills me with pleasure. When we have a good meal that is pleasurable. The more we have in our lives that gives us pleasure the more satisfaction and happiness we will find. When we fill our lives with things and people that give us pleasure the more we feel a happy satisfaction with life.
Still pleasure remains a dirty word. One of the primary components of our lives is to seek out pleasure and avoid pain, but we make that a sin. My Mormon upbringing focused on hard work, sacrificing for others, putting my needs last, not expecting to be happy and pleasure seeking was seen as evil.
I think that is wrong. I know that when I choose things that give me pleasure such as a wine a truly like I take satisfaction in that. It makes me happy. A couple of times a week I go to a bar and sit by Bob and we talk about our impending doom, our gardens, and then enjoy our drinks. He drinks beer and I have what is called a Foxtail. I don’t know Bob’s last name we are only bar stool acquaintances. This is basically the type of behavior my mother always warned me about or if I didn’t live right I would end up on a bar stool alone. The truth is I enjoy that time, a lot. I enjoy listening to Bob discuss his garden, I enjoy my drink, and I enjoy the atmosphere. It brings me pleasure. I also know that one drink will bring me pleasure but 3 will not. So pleasure is balanced out with consequences.
Once you embrace pleasure you begin to make choices based how much pleasure something will bring you. When I buy clothes I look at it to decide if it will make me happy to wear it, and how it will feel on my skin, and how it will feel to others. By making choices that satisfy my senses I bring more pleasure into my life. That ability to make measured choices that bring pleasure translates into seeking more pleasure from sex and realizing that pleasure doesn’t reside in the yoni or lingam alone. And the ironic thing is that the less we focus on the genitals the more pleasure we feel from the experience of sex. The opposite is also true the more you focus your pleasure on just the lingam or yoni the less pleasure you will take away from a sexual experience.