I am often asked questions about my own life and when I say I live alone and have for a long time. The responses I get are often, where you hurt badly by a man? No, I didn’t have a terrible marriage, but I was not suited for marriage.
This is a rather interesting question. One, both people must agree on what intimacy is ? Intimacy isn’t sex. Sex is sex. While I believe in sacred sex and know we can heal ourselves through pleasure I also understand that sex isn’t intimacy.
Does that mean sex isn’t intimate? Sex can be truly intimate and connect us deeply with the other person. However when we are disconnected from our own bodies or disconnected from our partners, the sex we have is not intimate sex. I had sex with my ex-husband for five years and there was no intimacy or intimate connection.
Men and women view things differently. Men will often only see intimacy as sex. Women will often see intimacy as talking and being held or cuddled.
Intimacy is much greater than that. Intimacy is being connected to another person or even ourselves, or our spiritual practice or even other sentient beings.
One of the most intimate things I did as a child was sit with my Grandmother Mary. I would sit on the sofa and read her magizines and she would rock in her rocking chair and nap. If we talked it didn’t amount to much. It was small talk, but the time was like being held in a magical space. Intimacy is the feeling of connection.
Tantra first connects us with our own bodies so we can be truly intimate with ourselves.
Secondly Tantra connects us with our partners