Men are in a unquie position to help a woman heal from traumatic experiences either sexual or otherwise. In Tantra the penis is referred to as the lingam or jade shaft or wand of light. The lingam is seem as a not a weapon but as a organ of healing. It can massage places in the yoni or vagina to bring health and well being. Yet many men have a conflicted relationship to their lingam. They have been told not to touch it or women have said it hurts them and so it seems like it is a negative force rather than the healing wand of light it is meant to be.
I recently attended a yoni healing workshop. Where women discussed their relationship to their yoni. Many expressed that they didn’t lubricate or that sex was painful and these were young women. I am always the oldest, but I am not experiencing those problems either. What came out in this workshop that is important for men to know is that when you force the lingam into the yoni or talk the woman into having sex she doesn’t want, the yoni shuts down. It becomes less sensitive. Doctors will often tell women that the vagina doesn’t have nerve endings and sensations that all the pleasure centers are in the clitoris or bliss pearl. That is just not true. The yoni is very sensitive and has the g-spot and a-spot and cervix all which can produce orgasms. However, because of rough or insensitive treatment these spots may have shut down.
And how does this relate to the lingam? When a man shows love for the yoni with his lingam the yoni responds with pleasure and regains its ability to feel pleasure. How does a man do that? He makes sure the yoni is ready for his lingam. He kisses it, he rubs and massages the yoni, he touches the entire body of his lover, and he waits until the yoni wants him. He might do this by taking the lingam and rubbing the head up and down the opening of the yoni. Asking his lover if she wants his lingam. And when she says yes, he gently moves the lingam inside the yoni that greets him with a warm wet pulling sensation.
If the lingam feel any resistance he moves out and waits until the yoni is completely receptive. Just by waiting until the yoni is receptive and is completely ready to be penetrated the lingam will heal past traumas