I do not make new years resolutions as I do not like to set myself up for failure. I do however have like to use the time between Christmas and the New Year to regroup, organize and get prepared for changes. I wanted to talk about a tantric practice and what that means. Tantra isn’t all about sex. It is also about deep relaxation, and mediation, and breath work. Much of my Tantra practice focuses on movement and breathing. I have 5 pelvic exercises I do to music each night while using yoni breathing. These movement strengthen my pelvic floor and keep the power of desire open and my back loose and the hips in good working order. That is one practice I use to bring pleasure into my life by feeling the music and breath move within me. Each of us are different, but there are some common threads in our existence. Most of us worry about age, and loss. Loss takes many forms, from people, to health, to finances, to desire and passion. Loss and change is a fact of life. It is how we react and process that change as to how happy will be in this life.
One area that seems to come up in many of my sessions is the loss of desire or passion. And to use a farm analogy, “You have to prime the pump.” The more sexual you are the more sexual you will want to be. The more you seek out pleasure the more pleasure you will find. The body has an amazing ability to give us high levels of pleasure and bliss. Most people simply do not tap into the body’s ability to feel high levels of pleasure. However, I have to make a distinction between desire and pleasure.
Desire is that feeling of wanting and yearning for physical contact. It is that fierce need to have someone. To have sex that overrides anything else. That feeling is great. I have never met anyone that doesn’t like that feeling. I will say it again, that feeling is great. It inspires great poetry, songs, and works of art. It also inspires us to make changes in our lives for relationships and marriage and numerous other things. That feeling is the creativity of our sexual desires moving us to change and create and experience pleasure. That feeling never goes away, but we can become disconnected from it and our own body. I think that is very true when we only view our sexuality in terms of intercourse and sexual parts. Your desire your passion doesn’t exist in your yoni or lingman. It exists in the circuit of energy that arises in the fire chakra and moves up the central channel to our heart and minds. When desire is absent it is often a great concern to people. It is worded in ways like: we don’t have that spark anymore; I just don’t feel it anymore; we are just going through the motions; I just want to get it done. Also variations of this theme.
Pleasure is different. It is what we feel when we are touched, or have an orgasm. The ability to enhance pleasure is present in everyone. And it is not based on age or the swift fierce desire of youth. Pleasure comes from learning how to experience it through techniques. Tantra offers those techniques. Pleasure is almost limitless and is one reason that many seek enlightenment through Tantra yoga. The extension of pleasure over a period of time breaks down the barriers between our limited body and the limitless universe and that is enlightenment to know we are part of the universe and not separate and alone.
I love the heady rush of desire for someone and the need to be with them. It reminds me of how powerful those feelings are and how necessary they are. However, there is the real trap of thinking that lust, or infatuation or desire is created by someone else or can only be felt when we are young. That is a emotion that we have but often leave untapped as we don’t know how to access it we don’t know how to have control over bring it forward. I use my writing, and my Tantra movements and breath work to feel the free flow of desire. There are other ways, visualizations, meditations and exercises that also increase desire.
Pleasure can become almost limitless through breath work and learning to relax to let the pleasure flow through you rather than holding your breath and tightening up, which cuts short the pleasure. Connecting or reconnecting the pathways to desire and pleasure are a benefit of Tantra yogi.