Tantra teaches us to be whole; it teaches acceptance and unity.  The gift it gives is not just great sex, but the ability to be 100% present in your day to day life.  And that gift means you are present with your partner during sex and whe ever you are together, the busy worried mind is no more.


Learning Tantra can be a difficult process. I have simplified that process into 3 major components that covers the fullness and beauty of Tantra.

1-The philopshy and the history are taught along with the major sutras. This from the foundation of Tantra and to be successful in making changes these need to be learned. Each lesson comes with exercises and activities to reinforce the principles of Tantra.

2-The sacred Tibetan Healing Meditations. These are not readily available and they bring deep healing to the body and presence and peace to the mind. They calm the over busy mind.

3-The Fun Stuff: Sex, Intimacy, the Lingam and Yoni Massage. You learn Tantric Touch, Tantric Communication based on Non Violent Communication several different wants to move sex energy through the body to experience higher degrees of pleasure. Plus how to have a full body orgasm and turn sex into a sacred bonding experience.

$179.99 Bonus. A Couple workbook with 7 days of pleasure and intimacy exercises.

Best Quote on Sex and Life and Love

New Year Resolutions, and the Best Tantric Sex—Ever

aamassage I am glad the craze for New Years Resolutions is basically over.  There are still a few people hanging on trying to change their lives by beginning an exercise program or meditation or drop some weight or build a better relationship or do better at work.  You can name a bunch of stuff.  However, what I have observed over the years is that people don’t change very much.  My sister-in-law has been losing and gaining back the same 75 lbs. for the last twenty years.

Does that mean I don’t believe in change, no.  I do.  I think change comes with daily habits.  You get up you exercise, you drink water, you drink more water, and you eat whole foods that aren’t refined.  Making a few small changes makes all the difference in the world over time.  If you want to have better sex, you learn new techniques.  You practice.  You make sex and intimacy a priority in your life because it builds healthy strong relationships, and protects relationships from damage, plus it promotes better emotional health and physical health.  One of the things I focus a lot on is breathing or pranayama.  Breathing correctly is not something a lot of people do.  They take short shallow breaths that signal to the body that it is a flight or fight response.  This increases stress in the body and muscle tension.

One of the first things in Tantra that is learned is how to breathe. And how to breathe to increase the pleasure and intensity of orgasms. It is not a difficult technique.  Their are also several Kundalini poses that strengthen the sexual organs and develop strength in that area along with pranayama. Tantra is not a complicated practice reserved for a few.  It is a few easy changes in how you view sex and how you experience pleasure and learning how to breath differently.

One simple way Tantric way to increase the intensity and feeling of an orgasm and make it a more expansive experience is to take long deep breaths, to consciously take long deep breaths during foreplay.  Rather than pant take a long deep breath in to the count of 4 or more hold  and let it out slowly.  when taking a breath in imagine the air flowing into your body filling your pelvic region with desire and pleasure. Let your mind be still and experience the feel of your lovers skin, and breath and touch.  Experience as much pleasure as you want to give.  Pleasure is limitless or limited by our own thoughts.

A small change in breathing patterns during sex, learning to still the mind and accept pleasure in all the forms that please you will expand your sex life and make for a blissful New Year.


How to awaken to a higher level of Sexual connection through Tantra mindfulness

One of the things I hear most from my clients is that I have an amazing touch.  I appreciate that comment very much. And I always say thank you and express my gratitude.   Even though I have heard it a lot since I was rather young, it still means a great deal to me personally and professionally.  It is a wonderful compliment, but it got me thinking what is so amazing about my touch.  I have very average hands, very.  Also they are not very strong.  So it has nothing to do with any physical attributes I have or ever had.a hug

My touch is connected to something else and that is the desire to heal or bring pleasure and by pleasure I do not mean orgasm, but the pleasure of being touched in a mindful and present way.  To touch in a way that is accepting and meditative.   Mindfulness in the simplest of terms is to be aware of your intention, to be clear of intruding ideas or thoughts, to suspend judgment, and to be totally and completely present. A mindful touch is full of compassion and love, not romantic love( but that certainly can be part of it)  but love as a way of life.   As soon as I touch someone in my work I try to connect with their energy.  That might take a bit, so I do not rush that process or try to push forward. I have been working at this for about a year and practicing Tantra for about 10 years. In that year of working I have had 1 person I was not able to connect with and the reason was he had expectations of the session that were not going to happen.   I do not bring expectations.  I do not have an agenda.  I am not trying to heal myself by helping others.  And you might ask how does that relate to my sex life?

Frist, it is important to touch the other person with respect, compassion and love.  This does not mean you can’t get dirty, or naughty in fact just the opposite as it is easier to let go with someone you trust, and have respect for and can extend compassion and love.  There is a real fear of sex in this world, when it is the most creative and pleasurable things you can do.  Sex is not dirty, it is not wrong, it is a sacred act of creation.  Secondly think of sex as a positive life giving act that is a precious form of communication.

Third fall deeply into your body and enjoy yourself.    To do that you have to be present.  For example and please excuse me for using myself.  I was massaging a clients hands and looking at his fingers and he asked, “What are you thinking?”  I said, “Nothing, I am mindful of your hand, but I am not thinking about anything.”  The nice thing about becoming mindful is the realization you do not need to be using your brain every moment. It can rest.  And when you need it to do something that includes thinking use it then.  During sex there doesn’t need to be thinking,  There needs to be peace and presence and relaxation and love.  I am not talking love forever and ever, but love and a feeling of connection and compassion for your partner that is transmitted in a mindful touch.   And honest Tantra communication.  Ask with love what you can do to bring more pleasure to your partner and tell them with honesty and love what they can do to give you more pleasure.  Good sex, fulfilling sex is just as much as about receiving as giving.


I date a lot well, I used to date a lot.  In variably, at some point the guy, the man, the datee, would ask what I like most about sex.  My response would always be I don’t understand the question.  Sex is different every time or should be and what was wonderful one night might not be fun Monday afternoon.   And what you loved about one person might not work with another.  However, once that hurtle of judgment and expectations is overcome, sex becomes a more organic and fulfilling experience.    When you add mindfulness the touch shared is amazing.  massage9


Sex, Mindfulness, & Positive Thoughts

I was actually going to go online and find a post for today as my creativity is low.  However, what I found about sex and mindfulness was really bad.  They quoted Annie Sprinkles and it is no that I donot like Annie Sprinkles it is just not the person I would look to for ideas about mindfulness.  Plus the article was not very well written,  and it was one of those sites that take 5 minutes to load because it is full of advertisement.   And I do not mind advertisement, just not that much advertisement.

What is Sex:sex1

Sex is any activity we engage in for the purpose of satisfying a sexual desire or need.  Some might say massage is then sexual, but touch is a need that is not sexual but human.  We are born with a need for touch.  Some of us learn that the only way to get touch is through being sexual, but touch is motivated by our humanness.  Sex on the other is also a human need and not one that is wrong or dirty of bad.  Sex is inherently good.  Sex is about want, desire and shared sexual activity.  I grew up in a religion that defined sex strictly by sexual penetration by a man’s penis in a woman’s vagina. Therefore people justified sexual behavior as not sex because there had been no vaginal penetration by the penis.   There is a whole lot more that goes into sex than just that.  Sex includes mutual touching, emailing, flirting, skyping, FaceTime, sexting, dirty talk, and being emotionally sexual with a person.   This does not include activities done to for other purposes.  I may email my friend to discuss the sex I am having with someone and I am confiding this because I need his help or advice.  That is not sex it is conversation.  When I open an email from a lover telling me with he wants to do with me and how badly he wants to be with me, that is sex.   I view sex holistically as a set of emotional and physical behaviors.


What is Mindfulness:untitled (10)

Mindfulness is almost the except opposite of how most of us are living moment to moment   The TV is on, you are checking your phone, and half listening to a family member or friend.  The attention of your mind is spread out and not focused on anything and everything at the same time.  The opposite is being hyper focused on a task to the point of not being aware of the outside world. Distraction and being overly focused are both the opposite of mindfulness. Mindfulness is the state of mind where the task being performed is fully taking up the mind, but without the stress of focus.  For example, when I am washing my tea cup.  I am washing my tea cup not thinking about anything but I am aware of the  water, the towel, the cup and my surroundings.  Outside thoughts are not intruding on my task nor an I obsessively washing the tea cup.  Mindfulness is awareness without intruding thoughts and the act of being fully present in whatever we are doing from taking out the trash, to listening, yo  the having sex.

Positive thoughts: blog1

I will say that I sort of hate the positive thought parade.  I have been defined as being negative my entire life when in fact I was being realistic.  The last time I was called negative was when I voiced concerns about getting a good night’s sleep because of being in a strange mattress at a yoga retreat. At least 5 people yelled at me that I should think what a welcoming bed I had and how I would sleep like a baby. What I voiced was a legitimate concern about my sleep.  I was bombarded with what I term wishful thinking and inauthentic speaking.  Being positive isn’t saying the universe is on my side.  Life isn’t Stars Wars.  Positivity is more deeply rooted in the idea of being okay with yourself and with others and withholding judgments.  It is the belief that the world is more good than bad and that everything is going to be okay, because everything is going to be okay.

Tomorrow how mindful sex is the best sex.