I mostly see men, when they have run out of options. They see me for help with sexual energy. When sexual energy isn’t flowing correctly it shows up in serveral ways.
1- inability to get or sustain an erection.
3-lack of intensity during orgasms
4-the one no one talks about. The inabilty to orgasm
No one talks about this ever. Yet, it impacts the lives of many men. I knew of this before I began practicing Tantra, but I was shocked at how many men came to me with this problem. It was baffling to me and it was an aspect of male sexuality I wasn’t trained in and honestly didn’t understand.
I really had to think about it. Look things up. Then I thought back to my own sex life. I remembered a time when I struggled to achieve orgasm. I remember how frustrating it was to me as I had always been able to have fast hard orgasms, with a partner or without. It was during my divorce and about a year after my divorce. I believe it was directly related to my emotional state. I was too stressed to relax enough to have an orgasm.
I don’t think this is true of men. This is based solely on my work experience. The men I have seen with this issue are struggling with intimacy. Literally they don’t want to share their pleasure with partner or give them something of themselves ( semen). This is very true with younger men who have random partners.
Older men are a bit different in that they have relayed on porn or certain memories and fethishes to get them over the edge. Then at a certain age these things no longer work. But in this case there is also a disconnect from their partner.
It is something no one seems to acknowledge or talk about because there is an assumption the longer a man can go the better it is, but that is not actually true . It is frustrating for both partners.
The solution is relatively simple and as with everything Tantra is about using sexual ebetgy in a more productive manner that has intention and is focused on pleasure and being present and connected. Also as I do not want to give random sex a bad name, even in random partners we should seek out moments of intimacy.