The old school of thought was if you loved a person enough you would have good sex. I think that is true for some people. Some people have a very strong emotional and physical bond and they are able to work on love making and sex until it really works well for them and they stay together for their entire lives. According to the American Psychologist Association:
Marriage and divorce are both common experiences. In Western cultures, more than 90 percent of people marry by age 50. Healthy marriages are good for couples’ mental and physical health. They are also good for children; growing up in a happy home protects children from mental, physical, educational and social problems. However, about 40 to 50 percent of married couples in the United States divorce. The divorce rate for subsequent marriages is even higher.
The likelihood of staying with your first marriage partner your entire life is not very good anymore. I do know a lot of lifetime partners and it is awesome to see happy couples. They are couples that make being together seem easy and you can tell they still carry that original spark of passion. I believe that happy couples have happy sex lives and they have found the techniques that work for them. In this case the couple has kept passion and developed techniques that bring sexual fulfillment. This is of course is the best case scenario that most people want. Yet, I will say this couple has spent time learning about each other in bed and out of bed and deserve their happiness.
I also know there are many couples that care about each other, but are stuck in a sexual rut and don’t explore. These are good marriages where the couple is not having great sex because they lack skills and often knowledge. And then there is always the shame issue for both men and women. These couples have the potential to have a great marriage with great sex, but haven’t quite mastered the skill set of communication, exploration, and techniques. This couple can benefit from Tantra techniques that teach a new way of relating to the body, teach tantric communication skills, and tantric sexual techniques especially the yoni and lingam massage with breath work. This is a couple that genuinely care about each other, but haven’t mastered skills that bring them the greatest sexual pleasure. I believe most couples fall in this range, where we have to find time to be passionate and sexual.
The last couple is that couple who are together for all the wrongs reasons, an unplanned pregnancy, economic reasons, for convenience or social standing, but not love or caring. Everyone knows this couple, everyone. One partner is usually abusive and the other is passive and enjoys the outward appearance of being a couple. This couple needs to go their separate ways. I was this couple when I was married. There are some relationships that can’t be fixed, even with duct tape.